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Copyright 2009-2010 by
Mary Brotherton
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Inside my Brain

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Friday, August 09, 2002

Very Valuable Lesson Learned

I am thinking, "Mary! How could you do something so utterly stupid! What where you thinking? You should know better."

I'm tempted to answer myself, in a very childish, whining voice, "But I'm new at this. I haven't been blogging that long. How could I have known that would happen? It's not my fault!"

To which my superior, know-it-all self would respond, "Well, you aren't a brainless bimbo, for crying out loud! You learned earlier this week to copy your work before you navigate to another page, you learned all too quickly that the best way to be sure you don't lose your blog "just in case something goes squirrely", is to either save it as a document, or at the very least copy the darned thing so you can paste it if you have to sign out and then log back in! Get with the program!"

The infant blogger in me wants to cry. She wants to kick and scream. She wants to run and hide and not admit that she did make a mistake. She's snuffling now, trying hard not to let her salty tears fall on her keyboard. She wants to shout some obscene words to the Universe, but she won't. Instead she is going to reconcile with the superior self and tell you all what happened, and why she is so disgusted right now.

I lost my first real soap box blog. I want to hang my head in shame, because I honestly do not have the moxy to attempt to rewrite it. Oh, it was a great blog, too! I am not a politically inclined person. I keep up with events, and I read the news, but I seldom get involved in the burning issues. I am very feminine, but I would not call myself a feminist. I'm not a male bashing, us-against-them, bow-before-me-for-I-am-woman kind of person; yet today something stirred that feminist beast within me. She's in there, she's been lying dormant for decades, and today B!X rattled her cage and she snarled. She snarled so loudly that she almost shot the messenger. B!X ( and please accept my apologies, for I do not have the emotional energy to give a decent link at this point) had posted something that I stumbled onto, through a link on Blog Sisters (again, profuse apologies).

I have been working on this diatribe of mine off and on for the past 4 hours. I thought it was great. It was great! I was better than great, it was remarkable. (Hey! it's lost in cyberspace now, who can argue this point with me?) It was sheer genious. OK...maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries. It was pretty good, though. I needed one more link to complete the blog, and like an imbecile, I logged into Blog Sisters, which took me away from this site, and boom! Blam! Sha-bang! my words of political insight, my remarkable answer to one inane law, my blog was gone!

What frustrates me the most is that I doubt that I can ever regain the momentum which drove me to write as I did. I had gotten really riled up, and in my previous blog, I even explained that colloquial phrase, but now, I am being petulant, and I don't care to discuss Southern expressions at all. My state of near fury was what drove me to dig my soap box out of the closet, dust it off, scrape the cobwebs out of the corners, and set it up right here in the middle of Blogaria. My anger was fueled by my indignation, which led me to write with Pulitzer Prize Passion, but I must have stamped my foot once too often, because now, my soapbox has a rather large hole in it, from my rather large foot...I think I have a splinter in my toe, too. The conviction which drove me to write faded as I neared completion, and my ire subsided. When I realized that I had lost the entire blog, I simply fizzled out of energy.

My favorite SciFi show starts in fifteen minutes . . . no time left for soapboxing. But I just realized that this is the weekend, and I can always go back to B!X's site and see if I can get some good old fashioned righteous anger stirred up again.