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Copyright 2009-2010 by
Mary Brotherton
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Inside my Brain

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Sunday, April 06, 2003

Self Torture
I hate paying bills - even when I know I have enough money in the bank to cover them all. I just hate the process involved. It wouldn't be so bad if all my online sites were working. Tonight I have 4 bills that can't be paid, becuase the websites were down for who-knows-what-reason. Access denied. You can't go there. Oh, they will let me order new service, increase my monthly bill by changing things, but I am not allowed to pay my existing bill. When I sit down to pay bills, I like to do it all at one time and then I can coast for the rest of the month. Bummer! Now I will have to check again tomorrow to see if I can gain access to the features I need. I despise writing checks and using postage as much or more than I despise paying bills online. So, I procrastinate and prolong doing the inevitable. It's 5:30 in the morning, and instead of just waking, I am finally ready for bed. My eyelids are drooping, my eyes yearn to flicker behind them in a fit of REM sleep, and yet I am so wired from writing checks, clicking the links to my credit cards, and stuffing envelopes - oh don't you know I just love the flavor of that dried gummy glue on the back of envelopes!!!

I'm tired, fatigued, exhausted, weary, and just plain sleepy. Can't you tell?